Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Why Does 'The Alchemist' Stay a Best Seller?

I must admit that I had not read The Alchemist, an allegorical novel by Brazilian-born Paulo Coelho, until this year. First published in the U.S. in 1993, the novel is celebrating over 20 years of international popularity. It has been translated into at least 56 languages and is in its 339th week on The New York Times paperback best seller list as of today. So why the cult status? It is the story of a young Andalusian shepherd boy who travels to the Egyptian pyramids after a recurring dream of finding treasure there, with encouragement from a Gypsy fortune-teller and a strange old man claiming to be a king. Along the way, he is robbed and earns money in business with a crystal merchant, joins a caravan across the desert and meets a bookish Englishman on his own quest, falls in love with a beautiful Arab girl in an oasis, survives desert tribal warfare, and is guided by omens and a mystical Alchemist to the treasure of his dream, or "Personal Legend." That plot synopsis and the book's short length and stylistic simplicity are deceptive; this novel is densely packed with complex spiritual and psychological questions. Basically, it is an allegory of the obstacles we face to finding and fulfilling our dreams, or Personal Legends per the novel. What obstacles? First come the prejudice, anxiety and guilt that, beginning in childhood, society employs to cause us to abandon dreams as impossibilities and ignore our hearts. Next is the love we have for others, because we fear to lose or hurt loved ones if we focus on realizing a personal calling. Third, we fear suffering from the inevitable defeats and failures. Last comes our fear of actually realizing a dream, of disappointment and guilt in success. But if all fears are overcome and you do things that truly fill you with enthusiasm for your life, then you gain the joy and peace that come from being in tune with the "Soul of the World" and the chosen path for you. After finally reading the book, I realized that, contrary to my assumption, The Alchemist has not achieved cult status because it offers a specific way to happiness. Rather, it reminds us, mired in day-to-day tedium and anxiety, that if we are willing to disinter deferred dreams, trust in the nurturing power of love, and accept the inevitable scars, we can live more fully. That's a best-selling lesson. To buy the novel, go to http://www.amazon.com/The-Alchemist-Paulo-Coelho/dp/0061122416

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Fairy Tale Weddings Can Have Unhappy Endings

Weddings have been on my mind because my daughter is getting married this year. As a result, everywhere I look, everyone seems similarly obsessed. On reality TV, courtship and marriage fuel dramas with "love" as the prize: "The Bachelorette," "90-Day Fiance," "Married at First Sight," "Bridezillas," "Say Yes to The Dress," etc. And I've noticed a couple of common trends. First of all, extravagant wedding trappings are being promoted at every turn, via magazines, Internet and TV--the huge engagement ring, the island destination venue, the designer gown and the lavish "fairy tale" event. Based on my experience, many young people are buying the wedding-industry hype, especially brides and grooms who are marrying later and who, as working couples, can afford to celebrate their unions in style. Another ubiquitous trend is to "write your own vows" rather than use traditional rites, putting the personal relationship at the heart of the ceremony. Yet the outward prosperity and romance of a wedding don't correlate with marital success. Just the opposite. A recent study found that the more a couple spends on their wedding, the higher their rate of divorce compared with the average! Theories include the stress of financial debts incurred and misguided reasons for marrying (wealth and outward appearance). But maybe fairy-tale wedding failures reflect a more basic marriage misconception. No matter how earnestly lovers pen their own vows or finish the night with fireworks, they are already on the wrong path if they think they are celebrating the start of a long-time love affair. As Joseph Campbell said about marriage across cultures in The Power of Myth: "Marriage is not a love affair....A marriage is a commitment to that which you are. That person is literally your other half. And you and the other are one. A love affair isn't that. That is a relationship of pleasure, and when it gets to be unpleasurable, it's off. But marriage is a life commitment, and a life commitment means the prime concern of your life. If marriage is not the prime concern, you are not married." It's obviously easier to go into debt for a big party than honor a life commitment for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. For sobering data about the link between wedding expense and divorce, see http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-larger-the-rock-the-rockier-the-marriage-2014-10-15

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Even Good Writers Win Bad Sex Awards

What better start-of-the-year topic for a fiction blog than sex. In this case, I want to pass along a humorous and cautionary reminder that even great writers can pen sex scenes that leave readers stunned--by incoherent, clichéd and unintentionally comic results. At the end of last year, the London-based Literary Review announced the winner of its 22nd annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award, and I would like to thank friend Maxye Henry for alerting me to this important event via a link to a Wall Street Journal article by Literary Review senior editor Jonathan Beckman. For aspiring sex scene writers, Beckman provides advice based on the missteps of the many distinguished, best-selling authors who find themselves nominated for the unwanted bad-sex accolade. Beckman's rule No. 1 for writing a good sex scene: Just Make Sense. Consider this passage from 2014's bad-sex nominee The Snow Queen by Pulitzer Prize-winner Michael Cunningham: "It’s this, only this, he’s lost to himself, he’s no one, he’s obliterated, there’s no Tyler at all, there’s only…He hears himself gasp in wonder. He falls into an ecstatic burning harmedness, losing, lost, unmade. And is finished." The reader also is lost in this confused stream, with a painful bump against "harmedness." Rule No. 2: Don't Destroy The Universe. The 2013 bad-sex-award winner Indian-American Manil Suri scored his booby prize with a passage that began "Surely supernovas explode that instant..." as the lovers "dive through shoals of quarks and atomic nuclei." Rule No. 3: Don't Get Carried Away by Metaphor. Consider 2014's bad-sex-award winner: The Age of Magic by Ben Okri, a past Man Booker Prize recipient. Okri begins with a character apparently mistaking his lover for a lamp: "When his hand brushed her nipple it tripped a switch and she came alight." He proceeds to the-earth-moved clichés ("the universe was in her and with each movement it unfolded") and concludes with a giggle-producing pop: "Somewhere in the night a stray rocket went off." For more of Beckman's amusing article, go to http://www.wsj.com/articles/when-good-writers-turn-bad-in-bed-1416503002

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

A Post-Holiday Meditation on Aging Parents

As the New Year begins, I'm suffering from a post-holiday mental hangover. One of the blessings, and trials, of the holidays for baby boomers like me is that we reunite with aging parents (if we're lucky enough to still have living parents). Framed by past holiday memories, the physical and mental deterioration of these folks in their 80s and 90s is disturbing. Our parents, even those in relatively good physical and mental shape, are far from the people of our youth. They are often, by necessity, focused only on self-centered needs and anxieties. They may be preoccupied with the past--from triumphs to trivia--in a way that muddles their present. They may require a caretaker role that is financially, emotionally and physically exhausting. To make it tougher, needy parents can be resistant, resentful and critical. Certainly, I have heard my friends, seniors themselves, lament the burden of self-absorbed and difficult aging parents. Of course, accusations of selfishness can go both ways. As sons and daughters, even gray-haired ones, we selfishly yearn for the parents who put us first--providing comfort, security and guidance. It's hard to accept that those parents are gone. And the parents who disappointed and wounded are gone, too; there is no resolution or atonement to be had from these parental ghosts. So how to deal with caring for elderly loved ones? Well, I find laughter is one balm for sorely tried nerves--certainly better than denial, anger or depression. So when my 89-year-old father's memory pastes bits of past, present and fantasy together to produce amazing fables, or his confused actions create a theater of the absurd, I let myself laugh at the ridiculous results. I laugh at my own bumbles and grumbles in response, too. The comic relief helps keep tears and fears at bay. For an example of humor coupled with honesty in dealing with aging parents, read the recent memoir by Roz Chast, the New York Times cartoonist. A 2014 National Book Award finalist, Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant? combines text with Chast's cartoons, family photos and documents to offer both comfort and comedy about this tough subject: http://www.amazon.com/Cant-Talk-about-Something-Pleasant-ebook/dp/B00JA9JE0Y